Monday, April 30, 2012

29 Goals for 29: Update on my progress toward my 2012 New Year's Resolutions

It's been 4 months since the new year began so I thought I'd check in and see how I'm doing toward achieving my resolutions for this year.

There are definitely areas that I need to target more, but I was pleasantly surprised by my progress.

  1. Do more cardio exercise! (4 to 5 days a week, minimum of 30 minutes)
    • YES! Exercise and healthy eating always finds their way onto my New Year's resolutions (they kind of have a permanent spot on there since I rarely achieve my health goals of the year... :) This year...nailed it!  
  2. Start working out with a trainer to develop weight lifting regimen
    • I have not been working out with a trainer and doing weight lifting; however, I am going to count this one as progress since I have been regularly attending resistance training classes.
  3. Get caught up in my classes
    • Still working on be continued...
  4. Do not fall behind in my current classes
    • Still working on be continued...
  5. Finish writing out my story and share it
    • Though I have not completed my story, I have been sharing my written portions more openly with my therapist and have finally begun verbally discussing my story during sessions. I still bring in written copies for my therapist to read in between sessions, but it is a huge step to begin talking about it!
  6. Start talking in therapy about the painful things
    • It's happening...more and more each session. I kind of have a love-hate relationship with therapy right now because of it :)
  7. Accept the dreaded “R-word”
    • The more I write out my story and discuss it, feel the pain and release it, the more accepting of this label I become. In some ways, I have accepted this label - I guess it's just that I still despise it...I have not addressed this label directly in therapy yet, but I think I will make that a goal to target in the near future. Yuck, not a fan...
  8. Keep my apartment clean
    • Oh, that's funny...It's gotten better though! But still a lot of room for improvement!
  9. Make and keep an appointment with the OB-GYN
    • Big nope - but my goal is to do it by the end of summer. 
  10. Stay in better touch with my sister (she lives abroad) and friends
    • Still a lot of room for improvement
  11. Attend church more regularly
    • YES! I have been attending almost every week and even submitted my contact information for possibly joining a community group through my church. I would also like to add that I am not going begrudgingly - I actually look forward to it!
  12. Continue educating myself on Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) and effective coping strategies
    • YES! I am constantly doing research on my own, and my therapist gives me materials almost weekly. 
  13. Start cooking at home more
    • YES!
  14. Be more social (i.e., don't turn down more than 2 consecutive social invitations)
    • Much room for improvement, but I have definitely made improvements since January.
  15. Get to class and clinic on time
    • Punctuality still has much room for improvement...
  16. Finish folding 1,000 paper cranes to mail to Japan in response to tsunami devastation
    • Not even close... :)
  17. Read Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery
    • YES! Amazing book! I will eventually write a review on it. Hands-down, one of most informative trauma resources I've come across.
  18. Stop drinking Coca-Cola!
    • YES! I sometimes have a Diet Coke, but even that is rare.
  19. Start sleeping in my bed again (Due to associated anxious feelings with sleeping in my bed, I have been sleeping on my sofa for months now)
    • YES!
  20. Be less critical of myself (i.e., continue to work on changing my internal dialogue)
    • I have made progress in improving my internal dialogue, but this goal, of course, requires a lot of time and effort to achieve fully.
  21. Respond daily to email
    • Nope...
  22. Respond daily to missed calls and text messages (even if that means sending a text in return)
    • Better, but not there yet...
  23. Start taking a daily vitamin
    • Nope...
  24. Finish reading Harriet Lerner’s The Dance of Anger
    • Nope...
  25. Make a point to thank the individuals who have been integral in my healing journey
    • Not yet, but will do...
  26. Continue posting weekly on my blog
    • Pretty much!
  27. Smile and laugh more
    • I am actually surprised to see this goal on here. I guess I forgot that I put it here. This goal has transitioned to not feeling obligated to smile/laugh. In other words, I am making an effort to allow myself to feel and explore all of my emotions - in the past, I have used smiling and laughter to minimize experiences or to mask them completely. It worked as a coping strategy for a while, but not being honest with myself about my emotions has definitely taken its toll over time. I am learning the value of not resisting unpleasant emotions.
  28. Stand up for myself and speak my mind more often
    • YES! I still have room for improvement, but I have definitely made enough progress toward this goal to constitute "more often." More on this later...
  29. Meditate daily on the positive aspects of my life
    • Meditation, yes, but I could focus more on positive aspects so I'll keep this one on the list for now!
Okay, so not even half way there yet, BUT I still have 2/3 of the year left! ;-)

Did you make New Year's resolutions this year?
If so, have you made any progress in achieving them?


  1. You inspire me to continue with my life.. i am so proud of you because you seem to be really making a real effort towards healing.. best of luck with all your goals and aims, whether said or unsaid....

    1. Thank you so much, Shadow. I am glad to hear that my efforts toward healing inspire you - please know that it goes both ways. Your kind words and encouragement mean so much and help me stay motivated. Thank you so much for supporting me in my healing journey. Wishing you the best with your healing efforts - we will get there eventually! xx

  2. 11, that's better than I did. Good job, and keep it up. I know you will eventually move past all this crap that was thrust upon you. I am proud of you.

    1. Thank you so much, Jaime. I really appreciate your support, and I look forward to the day that BOTH of us will be free from the past. (((((Jaime)))))

  3. You Go Girl!!!! Such determination towards your healing process. You are realizing more and more you are important. That you have a voice! Weeeeeee------ Hugs.

    1. Weeeeeeee!!!! :) Thanks so much, JBR!!!

  4. Replies
    1. Thanks so much, JBR! Right back at ya! ;-)

  5. 7. Accept the dreaded “R-word”

    The more I write out my story and discuss it, feel the pain and release it, the more accepting of this label I become. In some ways, I have accepted this label - I guess it's just that I still despise it...I have not addressed this label directly in therapy yet, but I think I will make that a goal to target in the near future. Yuck, not a fan...

    I love this goal. As survivors we have a hard time saying what happened to us. We have trouble saying i was raped. For years i couldnt say that word, i could barely even write it out. Alot of it comes from the feelings that we associate with the word and some come from being ashamed. Something we should never feel because it wasnt our faults.

    This is something that i keep saying to myself because its true.

    "I am learning not to say i was raped, but a man raped me. Grammaticakky, this is the differenced between the passive and active voixe. As i often tell my writting students, the active voice is preferred unless you are trying to hide responsibility".
    -Patricia Weaver Francisco

    You are doing such an amazing job at dealing with what that man did to you. Dont let him or anyone else hold you back. Keep your faith strong and your head held high.

    1. Golden Rays, thank you so much for sharing the quotation by Patricia Weaver Francisco and insight from your own journey. I really like the concept of switching from passive to active voice and assigning blame where blame belongs! xx