Saturday, December 10, 2011

My Story: An Introduction

When I first decided to address my assault in therapy, my therapist recommended that I write out my story and read it aloud to myself in between therapy sessions to help de-sensitive myself to what happened.

I started writing out my story almost immediately following her suggestion, but then I became overwhelmed with how long it was taking and just the emotional exhaustion that came along with remembering details and feelings I had tucked away deep in my memory. In other words, project “My Story” has been stalled for quite some time.

I recently got a second wind to jumpstart another “healing kick,” so I wanted to return to this suggestion by my therapist. When I began tonight, I intended to write a concise account of what happened with just the bare-bone facts. I wanted my entire story spelled out in less than one page so that reading it aloud on a regular basis would be a manageable task.

Well, that plan basically laughed in my face as this version has turned out to be even longer than the version I started writing months ago. I am going to post it here tonight in several sections, and then work on creating a consolidated version a different night. Perhaps getting this disorganized jumble out of my mind will make it easier to create a succinct, concise account of my experience later this week.

I kind of dread this, but here goes…

For the next portion of "My Story," click here.

4 comments:

  1. Good luck, and if you can't finish this tonight it is okay. You have as much time as you need.

    You may have noticed that I also have stalled in my writing of what happened to me. The last update I made about what happened to me was on November 13th I think. That was almost a month ago. I want to get back at it but I have been so stressed out. Sometimes I think when we become stressed we need to put a pause on the very difficult part of healing, which in my case is the sharing of what happened to me.

    Just make sure you don't push yourself too hard. The push can become so hard that it becomes counter productive. Just gauge yourself.(((hug)))

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  2. Thanks, Jaime. I'm still trying to find that balance between "healing" and "carrying out my life." Going through this process and figuring out when to push and when to back off is quite a challenge. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay (and a good thing!) to stall sometimes.

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  3. You are very welcome, and I too am trying to find that balance. The difficult part is the pivot point keeps changing which makes the balancing hard.

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  4. Jaime, I decided to go back and read some of my older posts like you suggested a while ago. Like you said, it's a different experience going back through them.

    Anyway, just read your last comment on this post and wanted to say I totally get what you mean by the "pivot point keeps changing." I don't really think I got what you were saying a few weeks ago, but it clicked tonight. Your reference is spot on. Thx!

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